How to Bring It

...or be owned while trying

You're Welcome.

CloFu Fool!

Leave it to PETA.

In an effort to spread tofu-love across this great nation, PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) has outdone itself. We remember the recent PETA push to rename fish, "sea kittens" in an attempt to keep folks from eating fish, yes? Yes. But now, dear lord, I think they've gone too far!

Introducing, "CloFu"-- tofu infused with the sweat of 90s heart-throb George Clooney!!

In the same way that scientists are able to make imitation chicken flavoring for powdered gravy and such, so too can scientists take the "unique odor profile" of an individual, say, from his/her sweat and create an artificial flavoring based on said profile. I'm not joking. I wish I were.

EAT ME!!!!!!

PETA President Ingrid Newkirk apparently wrote Georgie-boy a letter requesting his approval for CloFu and also mentioning that her brood were h.u.g.e. Clooney fans. In it she wrote:

"The technology actually exists to take your perspiration and make it into George Clooney-flavored tofu (CloFu). We could do that and give the tofu away. Of course, your fans would swoon at the idea of eating CloFu, but what interests us most is that we would attract many people who don't try tofu because they worry that it would be bland or that they wouldn't know how to cook it. ..."

!!!!!!!!!

Who are these people!?!?

You may be asking, where did this idea even come from? Well, according to the LA Times which published these reports, a sweaty gym towel of Clooney's found its way to PETA's people... and that's how this all began.

I can't imagine that this will go over well!! Yuck.

Dear PETA,

You = Gross.

That is all.

Love Always,

Sarah Mari

Bling with a Purpose.

Please, admire my future bling; I'll give you a minute to soak it up...

It's so very 99 cent store meets jewelry on the side of the road!

BUT WAIT!! IT HAS FAR MORE PURPOSE THAN

LOOKING UGLY/FAKE/CHEAP/AWESOME...

MACE RING !!!!!!!!!!

Dig it!

Need a Gift Idea?

.

.

This book = rad!

by Kenji Kawakami

please note the cat with dust mop feet!

To give you a little bit of a taste of what hilarious

and unuseless things are in this book,

I humbly present the following...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

hahahahahahaha!

but what happens when you mistake your butter stick for Burt's Bees? Or vise versa??

.

.

.

.

.

.

Or this:

"Hey Kid!!! While you're at it, dust the floor!!!"

.

.

.

I can't help it; I guess certain kinds of forced child labor make me laugh!

.

.

.

.

.

This IS the perfect gift... I have a long list of folks who can be expecting this in their near future. Also, I have another list, at least 12 items long, of the items I really NEED from this book. You've gotta just check it out for yourself... highly recommend!!!

.

.

BUY THIS RADNESS NOW!!!

atrocious

as in, this is tasteless :

Thanks go out to Agatha Ruiz De La Prada

for bringing a whole new meaning to the term, "wearing your meal"--

is that a baguette on your head?!?

Milan Fashion Week, are you kidding?

No, really, are you?

Pink Friday

pink friday dot org

Today, all across the state of California, teachers and staff in all the various districts are wearing pink in comradery for Pink Friday.

Today is the deadline for school districts to issue preliminary pink slips to California teachers. As of Wednesday this week, over 26,000 teachers had received such notices, TWENTY-SIX-THOUSAND!!! I am absolutely astonished by this number.

Children Are Our Future! ... ?

I am livid.

It's the same old say-one-thing-and-do-another hypocritical bureaucratic bullshit that keeps actual learning from taking place.

I received walking papers this week. And you know what? I'm thankful, yes, thankful. I'm thankful that I'm not a parent having to worry about my kids losing their health care benefits at the end of this school year when my termination will be official, or strapped with a mortgage whose adjustable rate just spiked, or someone with years and years invested into a school community only to be then be told, "It's not you, it's the system"

Well, you know what?

System Fail.

And you know what else? The system has been failing! California Public Schools need a change, but this is most definitely not it!

Song for California's Children



My Pragmatist is choking out my Idealist and I'm afraid the Idealist may die.
So today, at the school I work, red balloons are being passed out to the students in order for them to show solidarity with the teachers whom have received their walking papers as well as for them to make the statement, "I care about my education and so do these tens and tens of thousands of educators who will no longer have a classroom"-- It's truly touching.

Sure, the books may have been old, bindings fraying; and maybe there weren't enough desks to fit all the students in the class. And maybe the copy machine was broken every time they went to make copies, relegating them to become fast friends with the staff at their local Kinkos. And perhaps the idea that one person could possibly teach 35 students at different reading levels without the help of an aide is ridiculous... but my point is that these educators in the state of California are "make it work" kind of people.

The state has been slacking on funding for far too long, compromising the education of the next generation. But this, Pink Friday, maybe this will be different. Maybe the problems will become, to the population at large, to gigantic to overlook, too horrendous to take.

One woman said on pinkfriday.org:

"LAUSD has stated they would send 5,500 RIF (Reduction in Force) Notices to LAUSD classroom teachers. Today our principal told the 18 teachers, YES 18, that they would be RIFed today. That is 51%!!!! How do they NOT think that will negatively impact the school. We teach in South Central LA, Watts! Its has always been hard enough to staff our school now it will be nearly impossible! Those 18 teachers included 12 probationary teachers and 6 permanent teachers. I am so upset, I know now how people are supposed to finish out this school year with this looming in the distance!"
-elizvalla

And this woman is not alone... In districts all over the State teachers are getting RIFed; many individual school sites stand to lose close to if not over
HALF its teaching force.



And yet they still say that children are our future...

perhaps "they" should start acting as such.

trashy.com

Whether you've got a bachelorette party, a wedding shower, a hott Saturday night planned or if you are just bored, http://www.trashy.com/ has any and everything to fufil your lingerie needs, wants and desires. Check it:

FM hoisery; front view

and back view

Trashy? Yes... definitely.

Want more?

How about this $10 sale item:

or you could always buy your own elastic
JoAnn's price: $2.99 and that gets you yards and yards

Wondering what to get the Bride who has everything?

This should do:

Additional ball-gag is optional.

Confession Time...

I believe every girl could use a pair of FM pumps,

to be worn exclusively in the bedroom...

These are mine! Done and done.

these don't fit

I want to see a VW bus with NRA and McCain/Palin bumper stickers

... yeah

Who throws a shoe? Who honors a shoe?!?

Remember that shoe that was thrown at former President Bush?

Well, there's been a monument made...

to the shoe!!

Check it out:

Iraqi officials share a laugh on Jan. 27 as they unveil a bronze

shoe monument representing the one thrown by Iraqi journalist

Muntazer al-Zaidi at former U.S. President George W. Bush

during a press conference in Baghdad. [Getty Images]

Burn

out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out.