Refusal

I will no longer:

- be mal affected by YOUR choices

- defend you to the end

- make up excuses for your juvenile behavior
- let your affliction(s) become my own

- look at you through rose-colored glasses (they're giving me a headache, oh wait, that was you)

- worry about YOUR specifics, only how they relate to those who make HEALTHY, SMART choices
- cry (or sob) for you
- deny your status as: douchebag

I may:

- heavily participate in the raising of your children

**********************************************************

In other, holiday-related news:

What dreams may reveal

Last night, a dream I had made me become aware of something that had, apparently, gone unnoticed...

I have a TV crush.

On Tom Colicchio, host of Top Chef... it took me most of the day to be decidedly certain, but now I am. Peep on my crush. I still don't quite get it, but he does have a big head (aka a must.)

Fulfilled.

Today I feel like this:

And it feels ahhhhhh-mazing!

Blast From The (Terribly Broken) Past-Past

Your rattle
it clambered in my head a long time
Relive. Rekindle. Revenge.

I see your body,
Muddied brown;
With the stain of circumstance as your crown.

A pitiful shamble of what I deserved
Battled a battle
Willing to serve

Listen up dick-wad to these words I've suppressed
You ego maniacal circle-jerk fool
Coaxing the innocent
Afflicting them
Then peddling the cure

A piece of mind costs a pretty penny
And for a pretty penny-- it cost your mind

Your rattle
It clambered
In my head a long time
But I've since shut it up
Gag-tied and thrown over a cliff
It struggled all the way
but I had to be rid of it to be free

In this world riddled with pickpocket experiences
I've learned to let it go
Don't get me wrong
I still hate for all you didn't say
And Despise you for what you did.

Passive Agressive

If you were the one who was sick, I wouldn't have even gone out... let alone stay out until 5am while you tossed and turned with fever-nightmarish dreams of that girl who works at the pharmacy and zombies trying to eat you.

Guess that's the difference between you and me; one of many many.

life without a spine

I can understand your insecurities.
I can understand your concerns.
I do understand that you care.
I do understand a lot.
I can't understand why you would throw me under the bus.
I can't understand why I was feeling badly when I did absolutely nothing wrong.

My understanding is that you are wrong... a lot.
My understanding is that you and the rest are paranoid.
My understanding is that rehashing things that were settled may cover your ass.
They may... for now.

How did a commendation turn into an issue?

I know I cannot look at you the same.
I know I love those kids.
I know I'm not a quitter.
I know.
I know.
I know.

So to hell with your tattling, such a grown-up way to be.
And to hell with the niceties.
I will fulfill my obligation, with patience and love.
All the while knowing, in my heartest of hearts
that you are no "Christian" no matter how many churches you've built.

When you treat your brethren flippantly,
when you tattle and pass the buck,
you know you couldn't say such things to me with a straight face.
Lies lies lies lies
You are not a good person.
I will not fall in line and salute.

Queen of the World (I yam I yam)

by: Ida Maria

Whiskey please, I need some whiskey please
So bring me consciousness and kill my innocence
Please lay your eyes on me
Lead me in the dance
Give me no chance to reconsider, reconsider

(Chorus)
I'm the queen of the world
I bump into things
I spin around in circles
And I'm singing
Why can't I stay like this
Dear God
Let me be young
Let me stay please
Let me stay like this

Bring me home
I got no plans for tomorrow
I Got no plans for tomorrow
I Got no plans in sight
In fact I'm free this week
I'm free this month
I am Lonely this year
I am Lonely forever
But today, woh woh

Chorus x 2
I'm the Queen of the world
I bump into things
I spin around in circles
And I'm singing
Dear God
Let me be young
Let me stay please
Let me stay like this

One Reason

you fell so hard was because I didn't need you to fix me. I didn't want ANYONE to fix me. I wasn't then nor am I currently: broken. I understand males tend to want to find a "solution" for the unsolvable but STOPEEEEEEET!!

AnusPop!

In my paid job, as a barista [read: coffee beeotch], I encounter many MANY of what I refer to as our "Anus Population." The AnusPop comes in many forms. No two are alike, in fact. They are characterized by (but not limited to) the following:

- A general sense of entitlement

- A wholehearted lack of empathy or compassion for their fellow man (whom they most likely do not even consider a "fellow")

- Attitude

- Super-shallow pockets (ahem, tightwads)

- dickheads, douchebags, bitches and cun*s all fall within this spectrum

The AnusPop stinks up our society, but remember, one member of the Thoughtful Population cancels out somewhere between 12-25 members of the AnusPop (on average.)

********************************************

Two women came to my store and ordered chai. Before I had finished ringing them up for their purchases I detected (one of) the most luscious and intoxicating scents I had smelled in a while. I had to inquire. As it turned out, one of the lady's had just sampled a perfume at a store in the mall that shall remain nameless (B&BW.) I continued to chat with these women as I finished their drinks. I couldn't help myself from raving about the smell the entire time. As I handed the women their drinks, the delicious-smelling one let me know that she was going to have to go back to buy the yummy perfume. "I think you should," I told her.

Well, about ten minutes later, the women returned, B&BW bags in hand. And wouldn't ya know it, the woman had bought me a bottle of the perfume!! So thoughtful, it made my night actually.

One member of the ThoughtfulPop cancels out 12-25 members of the AnusPop... and I will think about this thoughtful and sweet woman from now on when dealing with an AnusPop member. The little things can make all the difference. Thanks for the perfume and double-thanks for the lesson!

And We Call Them: Lessons Learned

Some things that I feel are worth noting when attempting to navigate dating, relationships and the opposite sex... please enjoy.

- If they say, "I love you" and you think, "You don't even know me"... RUN!!

- If you don't like someone on the first date, the 2nd 3rd 4th and 5th wont change that.

- Even the innocent seeming ones can be two-timers (or, in my case, three-timers!)

- Southern accents, while sweet sounding, cannot completely make up for general stupidity and douchebaggery.

- If you pegged him as a sleaze-ball when you met, remember that when he tries to pursue you-- it will save you time AND unpleasant emotions

- Exes are such for a reason (and usually MANY reasons!!!)

- If he asks you how your ovaries are on a 2nd date... RUN!!

- If he faux-punches your abdomen and references your unborn fetus... RUN!!

- Making out with a guy, and leading him on, to ultimately "burn" him, in defense of a friend's honor may make you feel like a bitch-slut... but it also may make you feel powerful and amazing... and certain guys deserve that.

- Crushing on a teacher or professor is a great way to keep your grades up.

- Don't date rich Jesuit Republican Yachters if you're a middle-class Pantheist Liberal Tree Hugger.

- Building intimacy is just that: building/ construction, it takes time and is TOTALLY worth it.

- When it's right, the timing may be all wrong-- but that wont matter.

- You can never take back hurtful words.

- You cannot "unintroduce" sex in a relationship, so getting to know someone before jumping in the sack is a good thing.

- It is difficult to sleep alone once you're used to sleeping with him.

- Love forgives... and forgets, but mind forgives... and remembers.

- Sometimes, souls choose to travel together through the lifetimes.

Wonder

Did it ever occur to you that you may be reeeeeally bad in bed?

...cuz I've heard as much.

Blast From Past

Written: July 6, 2005
Untitled

The whipping of my hair hair like a windsock
Teasing detachment
Misleading detachment

The everydayness of miracles is lost on most
Choosing sameness they keep at their posts
Posted on the walls in letters of blood: STATUS QUO
Individuality: a no show.

How do we bend those things which refuse to be budged?
To see these clear echoes of life's magnanimity?

Force is fiction fueled by the few
Never-changing and vexed, with the depth of a puddle

Exploration is existing carrying with it a notion of being as more than mere moss held captive by a rock.
What is your rock?
That thing which declares a holdfast upon you?

I used to think that it was the roots that meant the most,
offering a semblance of permanence to an otherwise empirical ghost.
But the roots are bolstered illusions
fueled by our shaking, trembling hands
Passed off, most readily, and incorrectly, as Divine Command

When we create our realities
that which is miraculous grows
to heights previously unseen, untested and unthoughtof by most.

Live in this moment and author your next
Truly miraculous
Life at its best

River Daze

See you in twenty minutes!!!

** River spot ended up looking surprisingly like this...

finished the day with muy delicioso sushi:)

Currently burned but am certain it will move to a tan by tomorrow**

Just a Thought

I'm pretty sure in order to become "even better" one must have been vaguely "good" in the first place...

otherwise it's meaningless.

It doesn't count when the bar is set EXTREMELY low in to begin with...

Example: If I said I was going to become "even better" at Russian,

it would be essentially meaningless

for if I learned to speak one word then I would be successful.

Come On People!!

His... and Hers

Love-tinged gifts or tasteless trash??

You decide:

This one kind of makes me sad. :(

Because hearing, "Where are my keys?" can get old

...also the keys look a wee-bit kinky

I actually think these pillow cases are cute :)

Sexism in Vintage Advertising

And, apparently, the condoning of spousal abuse;

not a recommendation to add a little kink to the bedroom.

Note from the Universe

And they shall say, there once lived someone, who had little idea of how they changed everything.

They will, Sarah.
And, you have.

Tallyho,
The Universe

Dear God of Couches,

Pretty please? With sugar on top :)

Songbird;

Our wedding song.


Songbird by Cristine McVie (of Fleetwood Mac fame)

For you, there'll be no more crying,
For you, the sun will be shining.
And I feel that when I'm with you,
It's alright, I know it's right.

To you, I'll give the world,
To you, I'll never be cold.
'Cause I feel that when I'm with you,
It's alright, I know it's right.

And the songbirds are singing,
Like they know the score,
And I love you, I love you, I love you,
Like never before.

And I wish you all the love in the world,
But most of all, I wish it from myself.

And the songbirds keep singing,
Like they know the score,
And I love you, I love you, I love you,
Like never before, like never before.

MyLife...

I've been doing a lot of this:

















And, as a result, not so much writing (save for my journal-journal, in which I write with strict regularity.)

I'm sure I'll be active in waves for a while. We now have our computer fixed so that will no longer be an excuse...

I'm trying to figure out how best to articulate the one majorly DRAMA FILLED night of my recent visit back to my hometown. The other drama-filled days and night blur together where this one stands out on it's own. As a teaser, a knife may or may not have been involved. GASP.

Photos by Blind Photographers

Twelve artists were presented in the show. Some of whom are completed blind, while others retain a limited, though highly "attenuated" sight.

To view the complete photo story:click here



These photos are by Kurt Weston





Weston lost his sight in 1996 due to AIDS. in his work, he explores the facets of disease and decay.

He says, ""These photographs are about the realization of loss," he says. "About losing your facade. They say, 'This is your new reality. This is your strange new flesh. Let's take a look."





For contrast (and effect) these faces were scanned. This offers a high contrast of light and dark as well a a smushing effect that adds tot he artist's message.

Twit Sight.

Also, check this out: www.tweetingtoohard.com

Por ejemplo:

"@MikeyBoyBrown A great business man once said: "The more money you have, the better person you are." That great business man was me"

DOUCHE!

"@Mike29401 228 this morning. Rock-hard abs. Looking good. I'd fuck myself if I were flexible enough"

Too bad no one is interested weird creepy creepo!

"@ArthurKadeInc Girl at the gym was checking me out, I could tell she wanted me. A Philly 8, but she had sweaty arm pits. I don't date girls that sweat."

Another Philly-Guido... I'm sure she'll lose sleep tonight over her loss. Also, lemme know how it goes finding a girl who doesn't sweat when she works out or ever-- that's a serious health concern!

"@ultragrrrl In 2 months, I'll officially be an uptown girl livin in a penthouse. What's the opposite of FML?"

Hmmm... I believe the opposite is "Eat shit!" Am I correct?

Notes From The Universe

Universe e-mails me this:
There can only be a need for forgiveness, Sarah, when first there is blame.
And there can only be blame, when first there is misunderstanding.

Kung fu,
The Universe

And often, Sarah, misunderstandings arise for one of three reasons: not enough love, not enough sleep, or not enough chocolate.


So I say:
Forgiveness is a fore-giving, as in, in advance. My rights end where yours begin and I meet you where you are... always. Who am I to place BLAME anyways?

Friend (*ET voice*)

What does it mean to be a friend?
What exact social contract does one enter into when they decide someone equals "friend"?
Seems like many are confused.

As a friend, you are there for your friends as they go through the trials and tribulations that life delivers.
You are there for them when they make mistakes; and make mistakes they shall for we are all trying to figure out this puzzle that is life.
You're there because you care about their well being.

As a friend, you support your friends and the decisions they make, even if you think the decision is an err.
You grant your friends the liberty to make their own choices,
building them up when they stumble or fall.

And if you cannot, or refuse to do his then I think you are no friend at all.
That's okay, people drift apart, make decisions that we don't agree with,
But we MAY NOT choose for them.
What we may do is choose for ourselves,
"What can I allow in my life?"
"Can I endorse this implicitly or do I need to take a step back?"

Morality is never a black and white issue.
As in all walks of life, we live in shades of grey--
And we stumble, we falter, we fall short and we err...
But we get back up--
Oft with the encouragement and support of our friends, of our loved ones.

Why not apply? Why not?

The following are excerpts from a speech given by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. one year, to the date, before his assassination. How greatly they apply today.

Dated: 4 April 1967:

"I am convinced that if we are to get on the right side of the world revolution, we as a nation must undergo a radical revolution of values. We must rapidly begin the shift from a thing-oriented society to a person-oriented society. When machines and computers, profit motives and property rights are considered more important than people, the giant triplets of racism, extreme materialism, and militarism are incapable of being conquered."

"A true revolution of values will lay hand on the world order and say of war, "This way of settling differences is not just." This business of burning human beings with napalm, of filling our nation's homes with orphans and widows, of injecting poisonous drugs of hate into the veins of peoples normally humane, of sending men home from dark and bloody battlefields physically handicapped and psychologically deranged cannot be reconciled with wisdom, justice, and love. A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death."

"When I speak of love, I am not speaking of some sentimental and weak response. I am not speaking of that which is just emotional bosh. I am speaking of that force which all of the great religions have seen as the supreme unifying principle of life. Love is somehow the key that unlocks the door which leads to ultimate reality... Let us hope that this spirit will become the order of the day."

"We must find new ways to speak for peace [in Vietnam] and justice throughout the developing world, a world that borders on our doors. If we do not act, we shall surely be dragged down by the long, dark, and shameful corridors of time reserves for those who possess power without compassion, might without morality, and strength without sight."

Bonjour, Au Revoir Simone.

I am in love with Au Revoir Simone's new album: Still Night, Still Light It came out this past Tuesday and I have become obsessed in the last 24 hours--synth-pop meets love lullabies is a way to describe; but truly, it must be listened to and felt. Please enjoy the lyrics that follow, pure poetry...


Au Revoir Simone: "We Are Here"

The way things should be
became all that I could see.
But I could have never imagined that kiss;
love is this.

And now what we know
shows us what we've always known.
I want to know you and hold you... always.
Won't you stay?

The longer I was left alone helped me to find my sense of home.
And missing your familiar ways, at night, I memorized your face.
We spent a lot of time waiting for the chance to say:
"We are here, we are here."

I found it unexpectedly
the luck that you should notice me.
But wanting makes it hard to find
differences between wrong and right.
We spent a long time waiting for the chance to say:
"We are here. We are here.
We are here.
We are here.
We are here.

We are here."

Feeling Reality

Feel Like:

Really Am:

stuffwhitepeoplelike

I love this site and recommend that you add it to your reader if you haven't already... enjoy :)

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com

# 125 : BOB MARLEY

During the course of a white person’s education they will go through many phases including but not limited to: “awkward,” “classic rock,” and “being really into a foreign country.” Of these phases, there is only one that all white people are required to go through before they can obtain their bachelor’s degree. It is known as “Bob Marley.”

Depending on the coolness of the white person, they can experience this stage anywhere between the sixth grade and their last year of college. Regardless of when they went through this phase, every white person can tell you about the time when they had Legend on repeat. If you wish to test this theory, go to any floor in a College Dorm and there is a 100% chance you will find at least one Bob Marley poster.

It is also worth noting that white people tend get into smoking marijuana during this phase. This is why all white people view the combination of the two as one of the most pleasurable experiences on earth. But when white people really want to take it to the next level they will combine Bob Marley, Marijuana, a long weekend and some sort of notable outdoor location (beach, cottage, or patio). There are few activities on earth that are more appealing to white people.

The only acceptable reasons for declining participation are a prior engagement at a music festival or a commitment to go camping.

It’s also worth noting that when talking to white people about Bob Marley there is no need to use his surname. This is because all white people refer to him simply as “Bob.”

Since so many people are into Bob Marley, it is only natural for advanced white people to profess to only marginally liking Bob Marley (note: it is impossible for a white person to outright dislike him). Instead, these white people will claim to preferring more obscure artists like Burning Spear or Peter Tosh.

But be warned that a white person saying they like “reggae” what they really mean is “reggae from 1965-1983.”

Under no circumstances should you ever bring a white person to a dancehall reggae concert, it will frighten them.

Note: if you are talking to a white person who is really into Bob Marley, has dreadlocks, and professes to be a Rastafarian, you should end the conversation immediately. These people are of no value unless you need directions to a WTO protest or have questions about how bad a human can smell.

Hoops for Days

Yesterday I jumped though that which seems to be the final series of hoops

necessary in order to be in school come August...

I am so relieved.

But should also work on not questioning my own intelligence; sometimes I feel like a sham-of-a-brain and that at any moment, everyone is going to simultaneously "see the light" of my ignorance... not yesterday though; yesterday I was a genius.

"Heads up; you too Bessie!!"

I was in Spanish class with my student earlier this week and her neighbor, who is on the school's baseball team, told me a story which I call, "Further Proof of My Living in a Podunk Town."

At the game, he hit a home run. But it was a foul ball home run...

and the ball actually hit a cow!

I couldn't help but crack up... then wonder if the cow was okay.

You're Fired... Also.

Today, more teachers and faculty received their pink slips at the high school where I work;

I am so glad I'm going back to school.

"...like Burt Reynolds!"

I want to drink my weekend coffee out of the one on the far right.

ceramic mustache mugs: when you can't grow your own

and

you think moustache finger tattoos (like the one below)

are l.a.m.e.

Someone should have told her that tattoos are forever

The moustache/beard combo above, however, is extremely acceptable

... and rad.

I make it rain I make it rain!

Money for school came through; much more than I anticipated...

looks like the power of positive thought pays off once again!

... well, positive thought and a low enough income that

the gubmint sees that I need help :)

Hate Twitter. Hate Twits.

Twit (twit)
noun- an insignificant or bothersome person.
origin: 1920-1925; from nitwit, twat

I am pretty much in hate with twitter. I feel like it is straight-up ego-masturbation.

What are you doing right now?

Why do we, as a society, seem to feel the need to announce every.little.thing that we do?



4:15: taking a sh*t.
Good for you. tweet tweet.
4:45: My friends are better than yours.
5:30: I doing [blank], it's amazing... damn, my life is so much better than yours

I am the kind of person who reserves the right to ignore her cell phone calls. It wasn't until it was brought to my attention that I discovered my reserving this right is quite outside of the status quo. In fact, I've encountered some friend-bitterness due to this. My view is that there is no reason why I ought be reachable at all times... and so I'm not when I feel like it, and my friends either accept this or we no longer are friends.

Because of this tendency, I believe, I am immune to the temptation of twitter-- save for my love for esoteric ramblings. I don't understand why a person would want anyone to know everything (or anywhere near everything) about what they do, when they do it or whom they are doing it with. Call me old fashioned if you must.

I don't get it. I'm not some super secretive person but I do think that making one's life completely public is cause for alarm. What about taking advantage of a person's right to privacy? It's no wonder that the Government was not met with mass public outrage when they began illegal wire tapping Americans... we're a nation of twits!

That's why I actively practice misinformation on ALL of the social networking sites in which I participate. To know me is to know me; to be my ___________ friend, well, is to (hopefully) take me with a grain of salt...

And I'm a hypocrite, follow me on twitter: smreelove ;)

April 15th Sadness: Spelled Out

I found this perusing taxes in general. It comes from a professor; an outline of days worked to pay various taxes in the 2007 calendar year.

Why so glum Professor?

Why so glum America?

On another note, I wonder what the results would be if a nation-wide survey were given, asking individual Americans how exactly they would care to allocate the taxes that they paid in a given calendar year. Ranging in specificity of course, one person my allocate $1,000 to be spent on "road maintenance" where another may respond with something like a laundry list $1200 on "Treatment and Care Rehab Facilities"-- I think the results would be fascinating... and so very democracy in action.

He is Risen!

Tippee Canoe and Tyra Too!

Tyra Banks is everywhere! And by everywhere I mean that the Oxygen Network may as well be renamed in her honor!

Seriously, if it's not an actually Tyra show it's America's Next Top Model or a commercial about how, not to fret, because Tyra will be on your TV soon.

I had a sneaking suspicion that this was the case. However, my back is out currently and has been all week. This also means that I am, shall we say, properly lubed-up for this type of investigative journalism. My lube is in the forms of pain killers and muscle relaxers. And you know what? These pills are very becoming of Tyra insofar as my perception of her goes. That is to say, I can not only stand to watch her, but I also have been finding myself enjoying it! To this end, I am quite shocked!

I have actually heard a Mother tell her Daughter, "I think you just need a Tyra," referring to, of course, Tyra's riveting talk show where she ALWAYS manages to bring the topic back to herself! Mostly, I cannot stand this, but drugged up? Well, I think I need a Tyra or two too!! (God, I love me some alliteration!)

In the full-awareness that this may make me come off as a Tyraphile: how cuuuuuute are her bangs in the photo on the right? So cute. That's the answer.

You know, this happens to me quite often... I have love/hate/love/ hate relationships with some celebrities. Most notably, "The Boss", Bruce Springsteen comes to mind. But right now, I love me some ridiculousness that is Tyra! Only you, Tyra, can find a way to make absolutely everything about YOU. Only you Tyra, could spend three to five minutes lecturing your models on how to "smile with your eyes"-- all the while making some of THE MOST entertaining (and weird) faces that I've ever seen. Only you Tyra, only you.

Only you Tyra, could do a talk show about teen abusive relationships and, as one of your guests shows the bloody-reminder of a beat-down no one could have deserved, what do you do? Why, you bring the show back to what it's really about, you! I know it sounds like I'm dissing, and I guess I am; but I'm lovin' me some Tyra and that's the truth! The things that I usually find reprehensible about her I am finding to be both endearing and entertaining.

See? Tyra is so comfortable with her body that she'll wear a bathing suit on her show just to show you that she doesn't care... or, really, to show you that she's lost weight under the guise of not giving a shit. Only you Tyra, only you! And the audience goes wild!! There's another piece of entertaining insanity for ya! Tyra is obsessed with herself and the audience just eats it up... makes me wonder, what does that say about us? You know, those who find great schadenfreude in watching her? "Like, she should be embarrassed, right?" But she isn't. And that boggles the mind. She is for real, for real. And, damn, is she making banks of money! Partly because this semi-coherent rant has gone on for long enough but more so because I need to lay down, I do leave you to stew on all the is Tyra, finishing off this entry with lovely ANTM photo of Tyra showing "her models" how to be ladies, enjoy:

classic Tyra.

Douchebag Convention

Holly Madison better watch out! Looks like Carrot Top's after her magic-man!

Easter Bunny

One week until Easter.

I have always been partial to this holiday. Growing up, the Easter Bunny would set up these elaborate riddles for my Brother and I to solve. We would decipher each clue that would, in turn, lead us to the next and so on and so forth until our basket bounty was finally revealed. One year our baskets were slung up a tree. Another, they were stashed in our Family's clothes dryer. Our "Easter Bunny" was quite creative!


So, in honor of Easter
and bunnies in general come the bunny with two noses!!

How to Bring It

...or be owned while trying

You're Welcome.

CloFu Fool!

Leave it to PETA.

In an effort to spread tofu-love across this great nation, PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) has outdone itself. We remember the recent PETA push to rename fish, "sea kittens" in an attempt to keep folks from eating fish, yes? Yes. But now, dear lord, I think they've gone too far!

Introducing, "CloFu"-- tofu infused with the sweat of 90s heart-throb George Clooney!!

In the same way that scientists are able to make imitation chicken flavoring for powdered gravy and such, so too can scientists take the "unique odor profile" of an individual, say, from his/her sweat and create an artificial flavoring based on said profile. I'm not joking. I wish I were.

EAT ME!!!!!!

PETA President Ingrid Newkirk apparently wrote Georgie-boy a letter requesting his approval for CloFu and also mentioning that her brood were h.u.g.e. Clooney fans. In it she wrote:

"The technology actually exists to take your perspiration and make it into George Clooney-flavored tofu (CloFu). We could do that and give the tofu away. Of course, your fans would swoon at the idea of eating CloFu, but what interests us most is that we would attract many people who don't try tofu because they worry that it would be bland or that they wouldn't know how to cook it. ..."

!!!!!!!!!

Who are these people!?!?

You may be asking, where did this idea even come from? Well, according to the LA Times which published these reports, a sweaty gym towel of Clooney's found its way to PETA's people... and that's how this all began.

I can't imagine that this will go over well!! Yuck.

Dear PETA,

You = Gross.

That is all.

Love Always,

Sarah Mari

Bling with a Purpose.

Please, admire my future bling; I'll give you a minute to soak it up...

It's so very 99 cent store meets jewelry on the side of the road!

BUT WAIT!! IT HAS FAR MORE PURPOSE THAN

LOOKING UGLY/FAKE/CHEAP/AWESOME...

MACE RING !!!!!!!!!!

Dig it!

Need a Gift Idea?

.

.

This book = rad!

by Kenji Kawakami

please note the cat with dust mop feet!

To give you a little bit of a taste of what hilarious

and unuseless things are in this book,

I humbly present the following...

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hahahahahahaha!

but what happens when you mistake your butter stick for Burt's Bees? Or vise versa??

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Or this:

"Hey Kid!!! While you're at it, dust the floor!!!"

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I can't help it; I guess certain kinds of forced child labor make me laugh!

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This IS the perfect gift... I have a long list of folks who can be expecting this in their near future. Also, I have another list, at least 12 items long, of the items I really NEED from this book. You've gotta just check it out for yourself... highly recommend!!!

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BUY THIS RADNESS NOW!!!

atrocious

as in, this is tasteless :

Thanks go out to Agatha Ruiz De La Prada

for bringing a whole new meaning to the term, "wearing your meal"--

is that a baguette on your head?!?

Milan Fashion Week, are you kidding?

No, really, are you?

Pink Friday

pink friday dot org

Today, all across the state of California, teachers and staff in all the various districts are wearing pink in comradery for Pink Friday.

Today is the deadline for school districts to issue preliminary pink slips to California teachers. As of Wednesday this week, over 26,000 teachers had received such notices, TWENTY-SIX-THOUSAND!!! I am absolutely astonished by this number.

Children Are Our Future! ... ?

I am livid.

It's the same old say-one-thing-and-do-another hypocritical bureaucratic bullshit that keeps actual learning from taking place.

I received walking papers this week. And you know what? I'm thankful, yes, thankful. I'm thankful that I'm not a parent having to worry about my kids losing their health care benefits at the end of this school year when my termination will be official, or strapped with a mortgage whose adjustable rate just spiked, or someone with years and years invested into a school community only to be then be told, "It's not you, it's the system"

Well, you know what?

System Fail.

And you know what else? The system has been failing! California Public Schools need a change, but this is most definitely not it!

Song for California's Children



My Pragmatist is choking out my Idealist and I'm afraid the Idealist may die.
So today, at the school I work, red balloons are being passed out to the students in order for them to show solidarity with the teachers whom have received their walking papers as well as for them to make the statement, "I care about my education and so do these tens and tens of thousands of educators who will no longer have a classroom"-- It's truly touching.

Sure, the books may have been old, bindings fraying; and maybe there weren't enough desks to fit all the students in the class. And maybe the copy machine was broken every time they went to make copies, relegating them to become fast friends with the staff at their local Kinkos. And perhaps the idea that one person could possibly teach 35 students at different reading levels without the help of an aide is ridiculous... but my point is that these educators in the state of California are "make it work" kind of people.

The state has been slacking on funding for far too long, compromising the education of the next generation. But this, Pink Friday, maybe this will be different. Maybe the problems will become, to the population at large, to gigantic to overlook, too horrendous to take.

One woman said on pinkfriday.org:

"LAUSD has stated they would send 5,500 RIF (Reduction in Force) Notices to LAUSD classroom teachers. Today our principal told the 18 teachers, YES 18, that they would be RIFed today. That is 51%!!!! How do they NOT think that will negatively impact the school. We teach in South Central LA, Watts! Its has always been hard enough to staff our school now it will be nearly impossible! Those 18 teachers included 12 probationary teachers and 6 permanent teachers. I am so upset, I know now how people are supposed to finish out this school year with this looming in the distance!"
-elizvalla

And this woman is not alone... In districts all over the State teachers are getting RIFed; many individual school sites stand to lose close to if not over
HALF its teaching force.



And yet they still say that children are our future...

perhaps "they" should start acting as such.

trashy.com

Whether you've got a bachelorette party, a wedding shower, a hott Saturday night planned or if you are just bored, http://www.trashy.com/ has any and everything to fufil your lingerie needs, wants and desires. Check it:

FM hoisery; front view

and back view

Trashy? Yes... definitely.

Want more?

How about this $10 sale item:

or you could always buy your own elastic
JoAnn's price: $2.99 and that gets you yards and yards

Wondering what to get the Bride who has everything?

This should do:

Additional ball-gag is optional.

Confession Time...

I believe every girl could use a pair of FM pumps,

to be worn exclusively in the bedroom...

These are mine! Done and done.

these don't fit

I want to see a VW bus with NRA and McCain/Palin bumper stickers

... yeah

Who throws a shoe? Who honors a shoe?!?

Remember that shoe that was thrown at former President Bush?

Well, there's been a monument made...

to the shoe!!

Check it out:

Iraqi officials share a laugh on Jan. 27 as they unveil a bronze

shoe monument representing the one thrown by Iraqi journalist

Muntazer al-Zaidi at former U.S. President George W. Bush

during a press conference in Baghdad. [Getty Images]

Burn

out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out. Burn out.

Yesssssssss...

Love Comes To Me
Lyrics by: Bonie 'Prince' Billy


When the numbers get so high
Of the dead flying through the sky
O, I don't know why
Love comes to me
Love comes to me

When your mouth is laying ope
Head knocked back you don't cope
You're out of rings and flowers and soap
Love comes to me
Love comes to me

Love comes to me
Love comes and all
It's my hands, my heart, my lips
And that is all

When the fever hits your forehead
And trusive mice chew up your bed
And you call on God and God is dead
Love comes to you
Love comes to you

O, sugar won't you be my only
I'm a hard-hearted honey-pot hungry shepherd
And I'm longing to be born for you, that's her

Love comes to you
Love comes and all
It's your hand, your heart, your lip
And that is all

In the night time when you feel me
And the backs of your knees conceal me
And your eyeballs unreal me
Love comes to me
Love comes to me

Coach Before Class

FROM CRAIGSLIST:
free indoor cat to good home (eureka, ca) Date: 2009-02-22, 9:41PM PST 1 and a half year old cat name basil is looking for a good home. Indoor, cannot be around dogs. Other cats ok.
Location: eureka, ca
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's nice to know that although this person cannot seem to manage the commitment they made to the cat they can manage to commit to a hideous and expensive Coach bag. Maybe if you weren't such an idiot you could keep both your cat and your purse!

The Audacity

To have, not one, but two babies... without have even one job.

Congratulations, you just might be THE biggest loser.
----------------------------------

I thought about taking this down as I have a feeling that the person whom it is about has read it. Well... good. Someone's gotta give a dose of reality and I know I can't do it face-to-face (perhaps I should have left a real-life passive aggressive note?) Why not face-to-face? Because I love her one on one, it is only upon reflection that, well, this stuff comes out.

Love Cow

Behold, the cow with Love on his forehead!

Video Jugs

I LOVE this site

It features videos on anything you've ever wanted to know, didn't know you wanted to know or, really, could've lived without but somehow it's valuable.

It runs the gamete as far as topics go, from videos made (I think, I hope) in jest to actual how-to videos on cooking, make-up, love, DIY, Style in general and sooooooo many more. I highly recommend! I've "learned" many different things including:

-how to know you're in love

-how to be a perfect girlfriend

-how to make naan

-how to make hummus

And these are so very few of what they've got going on!


In the meantime, please enjoy...

"How to be the Perfect Girlfriend"

THE LOVE STORY:How To Be The Perfect Girlfriend

Henry is always sexy.

Henry Then... Henry Now...

Both work. But I much enjoyed the latter last night--
his show = amazing!!

If you get a chance to see him, you should!!!

Laughter through tears. Tears that become laughter. Rage.

And damn me if he isn't sexy!!