A Taste of Humboldt

As we prepare for leaving this wonderful place, that we have been so very lucky to experience for as long as we have, I'd like to offer a glimpse into the special nature of this place. The following is in no way emblematic of Humboldt in its entirety; however, it is emblematic of a particular sect of Humboldt society--a sect that, I believe, is absent almost anywhere else. Please enjoy.

So, there's a farmer. He does not grow carrots, or kale. He lives on a mountain top and scans the skies for helicopters in an attempt to keep his product safe. This man is a pot farmer.

This farmer, let's call him Sean. Sean has a pet chimpanzee. The chimp really enjoys partaking in herbal refreshment with his owner, and partake they do. Some time passes, and Sean moves from refreshing himself (and the chimp) with pot, to yorking line after line of cocaine. As it turns out, the chimp also enjoys cocaine. So Sean and his chimp snort cocaine, live in the mountains, and tend the pot farm.

Until one very fateful day when there was only enough cocaine for Sean. Apparently the (now coke head) chimp did not approve as he literally ripped Sean's ears off of his head!!

The moral of this story: One should never own a wild animal; but if you do, you definitely shouldn't get your animal addicted to cocaine. Or, if you do own a wild animal AND you get it addicted to cocaine, you better be sure you NEVER run out!!

Oil Oil Everywhere.

These photos come from The Los Angeles Times website. A picture is worth a thousand words, which is helpful in this situation where language seems to lack the breadth to be useful.

A Pelican, covered in oil.

BP head tours this affected area; bastard.

Oil sits atop the water, 10 miles off the coast of Louisiana.

A helocopter view of the Gulf.

Another helicopter view, oil swirls in the Gulf.

Edge of the spill. In the Gulf, near The Chandeleur Islands

Where to?

Never thought, coming from you
Words slung like weapons
No peace to make?

Never thought,
kindred could be severed
Haunted by phrases spoken and un

Augenblick
feelings can change
Augenblick

Always love in my heart
Always concern
Never thought though,
simply never thought.

Dear Brother,

I'm up on the tightwire
one side's ice and one is fire
It's a circus game with you and me.

I'm up on the tightrope
One side's hate and one is hope
But the tophat on my head is all you see.

And the wire seems to be
the only place for me.
A comedy of errors
and I'm falling.

Here. There. Everywhere.

Gotta love The Beatles!


To lead a better life I need my love to be here...

Here, making each day of the year
Changing my life with a wave of her hand
Nobody can deny that there's something there

There, running my hands through her hair
Both of us thinking how good it can be
Someone is speaking but she doesn't know he's there

I want her everywhere and if she's beside me
I know I need never care
But to love her is to need her everywhere
Knowing that love is to share

Each one believing that love never dies
Watching her eyes and hoping I'm always there

I want her everywhere and if she's beside me
I know I need never care
But to love her is to need her everywhere
Knowing that love is to share

Each one believing that love never dies
Watching her eyes and hoping I'm always there

To be there and everywhere
Here, there and everywhere

because it's still Nat'l Poetry Month and this is beautiful

"Written on the Due Date of a Son Never Born"
by David Wojahn

Echinacea, Bee Balm, Aster, Trumpet Vine,
I watch your mother bend to prune,
water sluicing silver from the hose.

Another morning you will never see.

Summer solstice, dragonflies flare, the un-petaled rose.
Six A.M. and already she's breaking down,
hose flung to the sidewalk where it snakes and pulses in a steady keening glitter,
both hands to her face.

That much I can give you of these hours.
That much only,
fists and blossom forged by salt, trellising your wounded helixes against our days.
Tell us how to live for we are shades,
facing,
caged,
the chastening sun.

Our eyes are scorched and lidless.
We cannot bear your light.

bombs for peace

I love you, Thom Yorke!


ATOMS FOR PEACE

No more going to the dark side with your flying saucer eyes
No more falling down a wormhole that I have to pull you out

The wriggling, squiggling worm inside
Devours from the inside out

No more talk about the old days
It's time for something great

I want you to get out
And make it work

So many lies
So many lies
So many lies
So feel the love come off of them
And take me in your arms

Peel all of your layers off
I want to eat your artichoke heart

No more leaky holes in your brain
And no false starts

I wanna get out
And make it work

So many lies
So many lies
So many lies
So feel the love come off of them
And take me in your arms

I wanna get out
And make it work

I want you to get out
And make it work

I'll be ok

So many lies
So many lies
So many lies
So feel the love come off of them
And take me in your arms

How can I succinctly express one's complete and utter uselessness?

she = a waste

No one is perfect but let me impart a great truth: if you have a kid with someone then you are not just "stuck" with interacting with them, but also their (insane) family...forevermore. I know, it's shocking, right? Not.

My family has been learning this lesson the (very) hard way. I am thankful for my geographical distance from the goings-on for many reasons; not the least of which is that it is impossible to punch someone in the face from so far away. But, sigh, violence would solve nothing. Nothing may solve this.

I'm wishing more and more that I saw pushing her out of a plane without a parachute as a viable option.

Always Discovering

New found EXTREME tickle zone: temples
New found tickle mechanism on said zone: The Raspberry
And not this kind (though, how freaking cuuuuuuute!!):

Like A Lady

Oh my my, oh hell yes, Honey put on that party dress:


<------ one of the (all too) many frocks I will be wearing during the Labor Day Weekend East Coast Batmitzvah Extravaganza (the title? Well, I'm still working with that one.) This one is for one of the less conservative events (i.e. I will not be wearing this in temple--too much shoulder and too much leg!!)

If you haven't before, check out the Mod Cloth website
They have amazing stuff and sometimes ok prices too!

I also found an ahhhhhhhmazing deal on silk pashminas (at, of all places, The Pashmina Store and snagged one in a grey color...thoughts on that one? Hmmmm...

*I am thankful to a not so anonymous donor who has

made my personal fashion at the festivities possible.*

If you live in my tree...

If you live in my tree, then you agree that letting someone die when they don't want to die, and there are treatments that could help them, is unequivocally wrong.

That being said, there are many things wrong with the "health care bill" that was signed into law this morning. When, my friends, is there not something wrong with legislation passed by our government? The answer is never. Never is legislation "perfect", there are compromises made and a veritable red tape gauntlet to get through on the path to make any change, legislatively speaking. The fact that this bill is by no means good enough should not come as a shock.

But my concern is not of this bill, nor any other bill. My concern is with the separation this bill, and others cause, with respect to dividing our country and creating petty arguments instead of dialogue that would aid in continuing to shape our flawed society into that which we want. I want, above all else, a humane society... so let's dialogue about "humane" and see what ends follow instead of arguing, because we know what end follows from that: division and more arguing.

I love Kieth Olbermann's 'Special Comment' portion of his show. I had written most of the above prior to viewing Olbermann's comment from last night but find it to be a powerful statement that cuts through a great deal of the b.s. arguing surrounding the passage of this "health care bill"

"Leo Loves Doing Karate Kicks!"

This is ridiculous!! My friend posted this on my fb page because I made the mistake of telling him that I, um, "strongly dislike" Leo. But let me first clarify. DeCaprio and I share the same birthday, November 11 and I used to have a crush on him (like circa the time this video was put out) and he was amazing in 'What's Eating Gilbert Grape', among scads of other movies. It is not his acting, BUT RATHER his being, that I have issue with... there's no elucidating this complicated matter coherently...so please to enjoy


***Prime viewing @ 45 seconds***

What if a yam is all that I am?

Delicious when cooked properly.


Disgusting when not.


What if a yam is all that I am?

Waste Not

PG&E, our power company has a planned blackout scheduled for this weekend. Great timing! Not. Hopefully the combination of an ice chest and dry ice will be enough to save to $300 plus worth of groceries we acquired about a week ago.

And what if it doesn't?

Well, rest assured that PG&E will be the recipient of a bill from Matt and I demanding a reimbursement. I am just grateful that neither of us are on a permanent ventilator that we would have to put on a backup generator for the weekend; talk about extra costs!

And why are they doing this? Well, our neighborhood (colloquially referred to by the police as "The Grow Show" for the mass amounts of illegal marijuana growing that takes place) experiences blackouts due to this excessive power usage and surges also due to the growing. Due in large part to this, PG&E must revamp our neighborhood in order to provide the correct wattage for continued prosperity of "The Grow Show"... I must say that not only am I inconvenienced by this (as I am a sick girl and TV offers my only relief (aside from brief cpu reprieves) as my eyes have a very difficult time focusing on, well, anything right now) but I am also sickened at the prospect of wasting so much food; particularly at a time when our cups do not runneth over.

At least it is clear here that green talks, and since PG&E makes a killing off of "The Grow Show", they want to protect it. "Rule followers" be damned!

When the Going Gets Tough, the "Weak" Go Virtual

** This is so disturbing on so many different levels! Makes me think of the psychological coping mechanism called displacement, which involves emotions, ideas, or wishes being transferred from their original object to a more acceptable substitute, unconsciously. It is most often used to allay anxiety. In this case it seems the couple could not cope with the reality of being jobless new parents to a special needs baby and, therefore, focused upon raising this virtual baby; a task at which they would be successful. ***

Couple Let Baby Starve to Death
While Raising Virtual Baby Online

from Huffinton Post Online

A Korean couple allowed their child to starve to death because of their addiction to raising a 'virtual' child in a Second-Life-style game online known as Prius, reports say.

Kim Yoo-chul, 41, and Choi Mi-sun, 25, would feed their three-month-old baby only when not at 12-hour-online sessions in a local internet café. The pair were obsessed with raising their internet child, called Anima, resulting in the neglect of their unnamed real daughter.

After one such session in September the couple found their daughter dead and called police. An autopsy found the baby died from prolonged malnutrition.

"The couple seemed to have lost their will to live a normal life because they didn't have jobs and gave birth to a premature baby," Chung Jin-Won, a police officer, told Korean press.

"They indulged themselves in the online game of raising a virtual character so as to escape from reality, which led to the death of their real baby."

The pair were arrested in the city of Suweon, south of Seoul, on Friday after months on the run.

"Online game addiction can blur the line between reality and the virtual world," Professor Kwak Dae-kyung of Seoul's Dongguk University told press. "It seems that taking care of their on-line game character erased any sense of guilt they may have had for neglecting their daughter."

The Safest Place

Sade... oh yeah.

In my heart
Your love has found
The safest hiding place
Inside is a field
And trees and a lake
Around is a wall
No-one from hell could break

In there you'll shine
In there you will cry

My heart has been a lonely warrior
Who's been to war
So you can be sure
In my heart your love has found
The safest hiding place

Inside is a stream
Around is a wall
No-one from hell could break

In there will shine
The light of heaven's eye
In there you will cry

My heart's been a lonely warrior
Who's been to war
So you can be sure

Your love's in a sacred place
The safest hiding place
My heart has been a lonely warrior before
Who's been to war
So you can be sure

Me Day

It's funny how a little distance can go a long way when it comes to dealing with the crappola that life sometimes throws our way. This time last week I felt as if, each day, when I awoke, began a mourning that would cycle throughout the day (in a rather predictable (yet horrible and horrifying) manner) and "end" (so to speak) before I shut my eyes for the night. It became so predictable through my "vacation", in fact, that I began to wonder how long could it go on, and furthermore, how long could I possibly stand to feel feelings at a level 10 without checking out (or "checking in".) So it struck me to notice the vast difference in my feelings, regarding said crappola, upon my returning home. That is to say, my mourning has all but subsided and I, for one, am giving a big shout out to distance for this one.

Though the Catholic in me feels guilty for saying so, being away from the muck and the mire is sooooo much more appealing than the prospect of re-delivering myself to that environment. This, my dearies, gives me an entirely different pause. We have plans to move into the muck and the mire! How that is a good idea is out of my grasp at present.

I mean, how in the world could this mess be cleaned up?!?

silly grasshopper, questions have no answers

At what point do one's actions become their character? Are we to factor in "good" and "bad" deeds from our childhood, prepubescence, and adolescence to create such a picture? Can a long stream of "good" negate a blip of "bad"? What if it is more than a blip? What if it is a muddied puddle of good and bad intentions? Or a general lack of intentions whatever?

It seems silly and sick for me to ask questions to which there is no answer. What is good? Haha, that's a funny one! I've never been able to touch, taste, smell, or feel good, and yet the definition exists in the core of my being, in my knowiest of knowings. In my silence, the good is deafening.