CloFu Fool!

Leave it to PETA.

In an effort to spread tofu-love across this great nation, PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) has outdone itself. We remember the recent PETA push to rename fish, "sea kittens" in an attempt to keep folks from eating fish, yes? Yes. But now, dear lord, I think they've gone too far!

Introducing, "CloFu"-- tofu infused with the sweat of 90s heart-throb George Clooney!!

In the same way that scientists are able to make imitation chicken flavoring for powdered gravy and such, so too can scientists take the "unique odor profile" of an individual, say, from his/her sweat and create an artificial flavoring based on said profile. I'm not joking. I wish I were.

EAT ME!!!!!!

PETA President Ingrid Newkirk apparently wrote Georgie-boy a letter requesting his approval for CloFu and also mentioning that her brood were h.u.g.e. Clooney fans. In it she wrote:

"The technology actually exists to take your perspiration and make it into George Clooney-flavored tofu (CloFu). We could do that and give the tofu away. Of course, your fans would swoon at the idea of eating CloFu, but what interests us most is that we would attract many people who don't try tofu because they worry that it would be bland or that they wouldn't know how to cook it. ..."

!!!!!!!!!

Who are these people!?!?

You may be asking, where did this idea even come from? Well, according to the LA Times which published these reports, a sweaty gym towel of Clooney's found its way to PETA's people... and that's how this all began.

I can't imagine that this will go over well!! Yuck.

Dear PETA,

You = Gross.

That is all.

Love Always,

Sarah Mari